I have been on a roller coaster of emotions this month. I am normally a pretty positive person, but I feel so defeated. I am exhausted to the point of falling over. I am more stressed now then I was last time I wrote. I thought that going to Denver was going to spark something inside of me. I thought that moving would make my surroundings change, it did not. I am feeling unlucky. I know that every one and their mommy says the ole....
"Everything happens for a reason!"
Sometimes I want to believe that but the agnostic side of me questions even this. I am not one for solace. That is exactly what that is.... accepting something bad happening in your life and making into something beautiful and planned. I just think sometimes what I wanted planned did not happen, while other things that were unplanned ravage my life away.
There are some days where I emerge out of bed feeling whole. I love those days. On those days I am able to get up and just get shit done. I put on my makeup, do my hair, yoga on the balcony while listening to beautiful music, and able to clean house and do all that work. I do not have those days often because I work too much!
I wish I could tell you blogger readers what is really on my mind. I wish I could just scream it at the top of my lungs. It isn't going to help. Sometimes I feel trapped inside of my own thoughts.... I put on my plastic face and I carry on with my day, no one ever realizing how troubled I feel. I just needed to vent and be pessimistic. Thanks!
Kelly out!!!
