Skin Deep.

 

 

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I always say that beauty is skin deep. I have not always found myself attractive. I wanted to do somewhat of a time line of myself for you. This picture was of course taken by me. There are people in this world who are beautiful on the outside and fugly on the inside. I am sure we have all met one or two or maybe three of these kinds of people. I have went through many stages or phases to get to where I am now. I am left with scars of my younger years. I use to think it was cool to pierce anything by myself.

 

That my friends is high school Kelly. That is actually what my friends now refer to this part of my life as. You cannot really tell but in this picture I have my lip, nose, and eyebrow piercings in. I also am wearing what I thought was a bad ass Rancid tee and that blazer was one of my favorite jackets. Still to this day I am mad that I lost it. I actually put all that red stitching in myself. I was super proud of that. I also at one time shaved my hair off. I had a blond Mohawk and a purple one. I was cool no doubt but also very foolish to think that the real world was ready for all that. I assure you it was not. I see kids dressed like that today I know it is not the same. It is now a statement. I wore black because I felt black inside. I grew up and now I have no urge to wear these clothes. I do however still love piercings and tattoos.

 

 

 

All you girls out there who think you are awkward or maybe you think you are not beautiful. I want to tell you that you are. That we are all beautiful souls. I am not saying you need makeup or a good camera. I think that we should all be comfortable in our skin. Girls tell me all the time that I am too skinny, or have small boobs, or no butt. I know that they tease me for being small because they are big. I am glad to be me. I love every inch of my body. I have been through many phases and no matter what I look like on the outside I am me on the inside and that is what matters most. So today my friends be you. Shine bright enough so everyone around you is blinded by your light. When you walk into a room own that shit. Be proud to be white, black, or brown. Be proud you are tall or short, skinny or fat. If this did not help then just google "celebrities without makeup". I promise that will make you feel better. Thank you for tuning in, I will see you next time. So do not be late!

 

KillaKell

The Little Things.

The Little Things.

 

Most of you more than likely take for granted the little things in life. I know you are probably wondering how I can be so presumptuous to assume you do this. Sadly, I think we all can agree we all at some point do this. I am guilty. I wanted to make a list of memories. All of the pictures on this blog are taken by me for you. I feel like that needs to be said. No you may not steal them because they are awesome!

 

 

This my new friends is yet another picture of the beautiful state of Oklahoma. Have you noticed in all the pictures I have posted there is nothing in the beautiful state of Oklahoma. I kid there is plenty to do, if you can find it. When I took this picture I stepped out of my daily hustle bustle and captured a beautiful moment. I am a sucker for a good sky picture. I will pull over to capture something I find beauty in. It is the little things in life my friends.

 When I feel sick it consumes me. I want to crawl into a ball and sleep until I eventually wake up and magically I am all better! So there I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. When I opened up a Halls cough drop and found these words of inspiration. I think I can say that because of Halls I felt better (at least a little about myself). It is all about the little things.

It is when you pay for one soda and the soda machine gives you two sodas!

It is when you get pulled over for speeding and the man only gives you a warning.

It is when you go to work and the boss man says that he over scheduled and somebody can go home, and that somebody is you!

It is when you finally get a week off of work and you cannot afford leave state. Instead you get a 20 pack of bud light and sit by the lake. If you are lucky you can catch a few fishes and throw them back of course. I could go on and on about the little things in life that make us so happy in such a simple way. I will tell you one thing. When I became a mommy I had a lot of these moments. I do not think I saw them for what they were at the time though. There were too many to count. First time I saw her, First time she sat up, crawled, talked, walked, went to daycare, stayed overnight somewhere. I think all of those things are quite simple in the big picture of things. They are mile stones and yes there will be many but I think each one should be celebrated. This is the notorious "she". This is her after loosing her first tooth. She pulled it out like a champ all by herself. I could not be more proud of my daughter for everything she has done and is learning to do.

 

So today my little minions lets do something kind. We will start with something small. When you are driving tomorrow be courteous. Let a lady go first at a stop sign. I mean what do you have to race home so early for? You should let a car who is desperately trying to get into your lane (so they I don't know can get on the highway) let them over! Well, I am starting to remind myself of a Hallmark card so with that being said I am off into the night, to do my evil bid dens and other very mysterious things.

 

 



One in the same.

One in the same.

This year has been very busy for me and my family. We started new jobs, schools, and moved. It has been hard at times. I am so proud of us though. If I look back 5 years ago to were I was, I would have never pictured this. I tell people all the time I am living the dream. I have a nice house, great friends, a wonderful daughter, a job I love, and my amazing husband. It is not every day you hear people talking about the things that they do have. You always hear about what somebody does not have. I get so tired of complainers.

I believe I mentioned before I am a cocktail waitress at a local casino. I have worked there for a little over a year. I work with mostly women (about 50 of them). The job itself is awesome. I get to do what I want. I sing, dance, joke around with customers. Most importantly I have fun. I make pretty decent money and I get to pick and choose my hours. It is great! Then you have the moments where it is not great. I go into work with a smile and when I get there I am met with frowns. I guess when people are unhappy it really shines through everything they do.

My point was that these women are always complaining. Have you ever noticed if you are in a great mood, but the people around you are not. It is almost contagious. It then goes around and by the time you know it, you are joining in on a bitch-fest you wanted nothing to do with.  I think that each and every person that reads this needs to do one thing for me. I want you to smile. I want you to literally stop and smell the roses. I want you to tell your best friend she looks beautiful (Josh that's you!). Those tasks my seem simple, but I think people might be surprised how much negativity they put off.

If each of you can do that I think it would make the world a better place in that moment. Kindness is not a weakness, it is a strength. I am not saying I am a happy go lucky person all the time. I am just really trying to be a better person. I want to show my daughter that I am smart, kind, and most importantly a human. We are all one in the same. It begins with me. I can break the mold. I can try at least she is going to be a teenager one day.

I really want to thank each and every person who has read or will read my blog. I am almost to 200 views in one week. I am very proud! I really love writing again and you guys gave me the motivation I so desperately needed and for that I say thank you!

Kelly Rose

Misery.

Misery.

I was waiting for your call.

To tell you how I feel.

You never called.

I know you never will.

I hold on for that one day.

When I can touch that sweet face.

hold loves last embrace.

I would do it again.

Just for the chase.

The memories still linger.

Deep within my mind.

It feels like a cold steel dagger.

That creeps up slowly from behind.

Kelly Rose. 

Written !0/5/2012



A love story.

I believe I promised you guys a love story. This is the actual story of how I met my husband. I was a cocktail waitress at a local casino. He was in the Marine Corp. living in California. He came home one weekend and came into the casino. I would have normally never hit on a customer but this time it was like I could not help myself. One of my good friends once said

"you know that feeling that you get when you are almost pulled to do or say something, that is fate."

In my head ,the next scene played out like a movie.

I said "can I get you something to drink?"
and then he said "sure, Dr.Pepper."

We ended up exchanging numbers and not calling each other for months. I had a low day and something (fate) forced me to call. I dialed his number and let it ring once before nervously hanging up. I then instead chose to text him and asked if this was him. He called me back immediately. I was so nervous. We talked for hours that night. I barely remember the conversation but I do remember the feeling. I had never had somebody listen to me that well. I finally agreed to go on a date with him the next time he was said to come home.

That picture right there was after one of our first dates.  We spent everyday that month next to each other. He told me he was leaving for japan sometime that same year. I knew in my heart if I let him go it would be a mistake. We made a decision that shocked everyone!

We got married!

That very same night, he left.

He was gone for a year and 3 months. This part of my story hurts the most. I remember dropping him off at the airport many times but I remember this time very vividly. I smiled the whole way there. We were listening to 3 doors down. Little did I know I would be here without him. We hugged, we kissed and then he went inside. I drove away and the minute he was out of sight I cried. I mean cried! I could barely see the road. I got lost on the highway. I drove in tears all the way to my best friends house. I woke her up out of bed and cried with her. I remember the pain inside of me. Months went by and pictures were all I had left of him. There was one month he could not even call me all together for one month. It was the worst month of my life. I was bitter, lonely, sad, and all I wanted was him.

 

That month that he was gone I made sure I sent him one last package before he got on the boat. I sent him many of my own personal diary entries. I let him read my private thoughts. I put everything in that diary some of which I did not want him to see. It was the truth. My inner most private thoughts of what I had been going through. How lonely I was, how bitter I had become, the resentment. I wanted him to know I was doing nothing but waiting for him. I told you it was like a movie.I had to drive to California to see him for the first time. It was actually his birthday. I drove 22 hours straight after working a 10 hour shift. I did not stop for anything but coffee and gas.

Now that is love.

Here we are almost 4 years later. We are still married. He is not off in random countries anymore, but right here next to me. I am thankful for him almost every day whether he knows it or not. This was kind of a simple version of the story, but I really do not know you guys well enough to tell you everything. I have to leave some of the events and details up to your imagination. I know there are girls and guys out there that know the feeling I expressed. The life of a military wife or husband is hard. I love you hunny bear!!

Well, I really hope you enjoyed my story. It was nice for me to write it down again. Hopefully I made one person feel touched or compelled to tell someone how they feel. I will be back tomorrow same time!

Kelly Rose

Life is beautiful.

 

 

 

 

Life is beauiful.

 

This is one of my back pieces. I am in love with it and I wanted to share it with you guys. This picture is right after it was finished so there is a bit of swelling and ink.  The reason I posted this picture is because I think people forget how beautiful life really is.

 

I understand pain. I understand suffering. I have been through very bad times as well as very good times. With that being said I can agree that sometimes it is hard to believe life does get any better.  I like to remember that every day I am here is a day I can enjoy the little things like the sound of my daughter laughing, playing or singing in the other room.

 

Here recently I have been thinking a lot about my life. I am 23 years old. What have I done so far? What will I do next? I think it is a difficult journey for every person to make no matter what the age. I know I am not alone on that note. I know I loved to write and I feel that passion is slowly coming back to me one day at a time.  It feels nice to write again.

 

 

The other day was full of storms here in Oklahoma. My friends and I discovered this in my backyard after the rain let up. We are a bunch of dorks so all of us whipped out our camera phones and started taking pictures. This is one that I took. I am very proud of it. My point was that even though it was storming for days on end, this flower found a way to thrive.

 

 

What are some of the things you find beauty in?

 

KillaKell