2 Loritabs and a Fucking Dream.

I recently had my wisdom teeth removed. I am feeling much better. I had been in pain for almost a year. I hope that all you readers out there are having a great week. Thanksgiving is a couple days away. Black Friday is right around the corner. I am sure all of you have some awesome plans for this holiday weekend. I am excited about one thing. That one thing is turkey. I love turkey. I am sad my mother is going out of town again this year. This will mark the second year she has fled town on this beloved family holiday. I forgive you this time mother. I love you.

So, me and mine are heading to the in-laws. My mother-in-law can cook some pretty awesome food so I am not mad at all. I can look forward to lots of great food. She also is never shy on deserts. There is always so much great food. I am looking forward to eating it and spending time with the ones who say they love me. For many Black Friday is something that is almost as important as Thanksgiving. I am not one of these people. I will not be joining that crowd. For those of you who will be out there shopping be safe and try not to trample somebody to death.

It is 7:04 in the morning here in Oklahoma. The sun is about to rise and I am sitting here in my bedroom listening to Kelly Clarkson "Catch my breath". This is one of favorite songs at the moment. I want to start putting what song I like at the moment in each blog. I am hoping to maybe introduce my readers to some music. I like most all genres. I hope you guys enjoy. I hope you guys have a great day. I want you to remember that you should be extra thankful for everything in your life. There are people out there with nothing. I am thankful to be who I am and everything I have. Also be safe driving out there. I will be back after the holidays.

KillaKell

Supermom.

Life has become so routine lately. I am happy to have my best friend rooming with me for the next couple of weeks. This is his dog Freddy. I do not work all that much so I have been spending a lot of time with him. It must be nice to be a dog. The world must be simple. Freddy has it pretty good. He gets to sleep all day. When Freddy is not sleeping he can be found wondering around trying to find clothes to sleep on. He is so curious. He is protective and he also has serious attachment issues. He follows me around everywhere. If I leave a room so does he. Life is not that simple for us humans. I wish it was, he has a pretty sweet set up. 

I guess having a routine is not a bad thing. I have been thinking of ways to fill my time. I seem to have a lot of time laying around. I have cleaned everything and I am really tired of laundry. I really do not know where it all keeps coming from. I hate dishes now. I am like a zombie when I do dishes. I am lucky to have a pretty window right above my kitchen sink. I will stand there scrubbing dishes while staring outside watching life move on. I love/hate cooking dinner. I enjoy watching my family eat and praising a good meal as good as the next gal. Then I remember I am the one who is cleaning all the dishes (ain't life a bitch). 

I am wanting something that will give me energy so today I am going to try to do some yoga. I have done yoga in the past and it really seemed to help give me some natural energy. I drink way too many red bulls. As a mother I have learned that there is simply not enough energy to go around. I wake up every morning at 6:30 am. I then get my daughter ready for school. I drop my daughter off at school. I am normally home shortly after to do my chores and watch netflix. I am exhausted by noon but I cannot nap because I sleep too hard. I then pick my daughter up at 2 pm where I wait in a mile long line of cars at the school. I am home by 3 pm. I COULD sleep then but not really. I then make my daughter her after school snack. We do homework and all that good stuff. I then have to start getting dinner ready by 6 pm. My husband gets home from work around 6 pm takes a shower and dinner is served by 6:30 pm. I COULD sleep then but I would wake up way too early. Instead I force myself to wake up until midnight where I then how should I say......I pass the fuck out! I am so exhausted. If any moms out there are reading this I could use some advice. I will try anything twice. I am tired of this routine. I want to change things up. I hope to hear from you guys. I am off to be supermom!

KillaKell

My Sacrifice.

Well hello there. I am having a pretty good day today. In Oklahoma it is sunny yet cold. A great day for a run in the park, or to drive with your windows down. I wanted to blog today about veterans day. I am an ex military wife and I know all about what the military sacrifices. I first want to say that I am extremely proud of my husband. He is one of those people who would have laid his life down in the name of freedom. I am lucky to have such a hero in my life. I know that without him I would be lost, so I am thankful everyday that he is home. He was in the United States Marine Corps. He has been all over the world. He spent his 4 years stationed out in sunny San Diego, California. During those 4 years he was deployed twice. These deployments led him on a worldwide adventure. He went to Japan, Australia, Thailand, Philippines, and Korea. I waited patiently in mid America for him to return. I am thankful that he did not go to the sandbox. He pushed and pushed to go, it just never happened. I am very thankful for that. 

When I first met my husband. I had no idea what it meant to be a military wife. The only thing I knew was the man I had fallen so deep in love with was leaving. I built up in my head what it was going to be like. I had no fucking clue. I was so alone. He traveled the globe, while I wondered around aimlessly like a zombie for over a year. He sailed seas, I swam in public pools. He ate exotic foods, while I had panda express. I wish that we could have done all those things together. I respect every single person who has said goodbye to someone they love. It is hard to let go. I learned over time that everything he did over there, he did for me and our daughter. He learned how to be a leader. He can fucking clean too! 

There are bad moments in deployment, but here are a few things I kind of miss.

• Skype dates
• Phone calls at 5 in the morning
• The uniforms
• Care packages
• The homecoming

I miss all of those things. I hope all of you out there who may be going through this hold on. The road is rocky and at times it will shake you down to almost nothing. I remember one time this ex-marine came into my job at the time. He told me that when he was in and stationed exactly where my husband was he had wild times with the local girls who apparently loved American boys. I dropped to my knees, tears quickly covered my face. I could tell that my coworkers were sadden by this. I mean who wouldn't be sad watching a girl crumble and break. I have had my bad days but overall I am one happy lady.

Husband, 

               If you ever do read my blog thank you. Thank you for all you have done and will do. You are a hero in my eyes. When I think of you I think of the bright light that is inside of you. I think of a courageous man who would do anything for his family. An honorable man who has nothing but good intentions. I see a strong marine who will always protect me from the evil in this world. I feel safe in your arms. I love you so much. I hope that one day you will understand how much I am consumed by all that you are. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your adventure. I promise at times the adventure may get rough, but I am not going anywhere.

Kelly

Up He Goes.

I would like to say that the poetry written on this blog is written by me. I wrote the now two poems when my husband was deployed. I just wanted to share them. It has been almost two years since these words were written and they still sting. I hope you enjoy because I know I did.

Up He Goes.

Away you go.
Time and time again.
I will miss you more than you know.
You are my husband as well as my best friend.

I hate to see you go.
As I reach my hand to yours.
You try not to let your emotions show.
When it rains, it always pours.

A tear runs down my face.
I hide away with this shame.
I dream of that better place.
One day....

I smile and I wave.
I let the world see my brilliant facade.
I try not to crumble, shatter, or break.
I am a fraud.

Written by: Kelly Edwards 2009